Day after day I am assured loneliness is not a strategic plan. It happens by chance.

I still remember one of the programme lecturers’ quotes, she said: ”the more you dive into knowledge and philosophy, the lonelier you are”.

I can admit I do not have even a drop of most people’s knowledge. In addition, I am not a specialized and knowledgeable person. However, I feel so lonely. I wish I could figure out the reason.

I am surrounded by such kind and supportive women who are always taking care of my wellbeing. Still, each time I decide to go for a walk, to the market and to have a meal, I end up alone. After three months of being in Iceland, I am sick of asking or texting others to accompany me with a one-word response: “No.”  I was completely depressed–until I decided to dance during my whole lunch break.

Successively, Dancing empowered me with energy to sustain and continue. Later I discovered it is not a problem to be alone.  The problem is to think about loneliness as a dilemma. It is neither your fault nor the fault of the other people. This made me wonder: what matters to each person?

In the 7th week of the UNU-GEST programme, we had a guest lecturer, and she inspired me to think positively and to make everything matter except people’s decisions. So, I started to enjoy being alone and did a gender analysis of every single detail I have noticed. In consequence, my perspective has totally changed. Daily, I go for a walk and examine the city through the lens of gender. If I am accompanied, I will spend time speaking, rather than embracing my curiosity.

The experience of loneliness is worth living, and the experience of having friends from over the world is a story to be told. I realized by dancing that it is my responsibility to break the ice and open the gate for others to share. Yet, I believe spending time alone is crucial for achieving specific goals, opening to others and building friendships are priceless.

Later I recognized homesickness is my matter. Besides, longing for my children has a profound influence in my way of thinking. And, obviously Gaza: the city that cannot leave me alone, she is in the deepest corner of my unconscious mind. I cannot avoid thinking of all her details. She is my curiosity. Unfortunately, I am completely disabled to provide a solution to all her catastrophes. She needs more than a miracle to save her people of burning in the hell due to the hardship conditions.

Dancing is a sign, here from Iceland I can hear the dancing steps of my people. They are alone calling life to pass on their heart and reveal the blackness. The people of Gaza are alone and singing for peace. They are alone, jut alone. They were left; the curiosity has been not knocked the main gate of the city. Yet, no one hear the dancing.